A difference

I almost named this post “fear”. Mainly because of the way I’ve been feeling. As the sickness wears off and my boobs hurt less, I was really starting to not feel pregnant. Burgeoning belly not withstanding, my mind was a barrage of all the things that could not be going right. Two weeks ago I started spotting, and ended up going for an ultrasound. Everything looked fine, and they said I’m just one of those lucky people that happens to. Fortunately, it stopped by the next day.

Now it’s been two weeks without an ultrasound, and every symptom that I look up that could mean something benign or concerning has me fearing the worse...

...Or, it did. I told myself to shake it off. Out loud. Told B how I was feeling and my fear, which helped a little to alleviate it. The rest of it was shaken off as I sat at my desk at work and felt three quick pulses a few inches below my navel as my baby moved for the first time.

What a difference a day makes. 

16 weeks pregnant

16 weeks and 1 day today. Had my OB visit 2 days ago. Doctor was trying to listen to the baby’s heartbeat with a Doppler, but was having a difficult time. I tried very hard to stay calm, and did a creditable job. He decided to switch to an ultrasound. There was the little troublemaker, behind the placenta (which is in front). The baby’s was facing my back with his/her butt in the placenta. Stubborn little thing didn’t want to be bothered. 😂 Everything else looked good. Bones are going through ossification, so the baby’s spine was clearly visible. Pretty cool.

I must say, now that I’m just like every other pregnant person and only getting monitored once a month, it takes a concerted effort not to worry about how things are progressing in the interim. The fact that my little stubborn one had to be physically seen took a major load off my mind. I also know it will be a waste for me to buy a home Doppler! Anatomy scan in 4 weeks !

Now that I’m officially out, I feel like I’ve popped. I have a round belly, not a little bump. I’m really not a huge fan of people rubbing my belly; yuck! I think I’m going to get a shirt that says “Don’t touch!”

Pregnancy symptoms: still very congested. Queasiness is tapering off, followed by indigestion.  Still having some bouts of insomnia. My boobs are seriously full and super sensitive. I went up a cup size. Went clothes shopping with a friend today. It was fun, and I have some new cute and comfy clothes. ☺️

NT/NIPT results, out and a little scared

I’m now 14.5 weeks pregnant. Hello, second trimester. NT and NIPT (cell-free DNA) results are in and no abnormalities were detected. Need to chat with DH, but I believe we’re going to forego the amniocentesis. No need to do anything with the risk of miscarriage.

I’m now out at work and to my friends. I haven’t made any social media declarations. Those will happen organically, as I show up pregnant in pictures.

Next prenatal is in 10 days. Going a whole month without a scan is super scary, especially as symptoms wane and I can’t feel movement yet. I tell myself to relax at least twice a week. Maybe I’ll get a Doppler. Or maybe listing my symptoms will help : increased appetite, pudginess, CRAZY fatigue, occasional cramps/round ligament pain, pregnancy congestion, increased saliva (like a Saint Bernard), vivid dreams, occasional nausea, constipation.  I’ve been told that I’m glowing, but I think that’s my Fenty makeup 😉.

Outing myself and NT Scan

So much to tell; I’ll go in order:

Outed myself to my family two weeks ago. My cousin in Italy cried and is already planning a shopping trip to Milan. She’s promised not to send anything directly to me until April. I tried for May, but didn’t want to stifle her enthusiasm. ☺️  I FaceTimed my grandmother to tell her. her first words were, “Oh, Thank you, Jesus, I’m so happy.”  She spent the rest of the call beaming while she had tears streaming down her face; almost made me cry.

One of my aunts screamed when she realized that I was putting in my order for a crocheted baby blanket for myself and not one of my friends. I think my ear was wrong for a while after that.

My SIL told me to wait a second, then dropped the phone. When she came back on, I asked her if she was crying. She answered “No” in a shaky, tear-filled voice. I laughed a called her a liar. Then she started fussing with B for not telling her when she spoke with her earlier in the week, which he promptly proclaimed to be my fault. 😒  The she hung up to tell her kids and her best friend, only to call me back in outrage when no one picked up the phone. 😂 She’s already putting in her vacation so she can be in the waiting room.

One of my cousins who lives close by told me she knew I looked different when she saw me. I told her it was my Fenty foundation.

Those are the stories that really stood out. It was a fun day, with lots of congrats and smiles. Once the trimester is over, I’ll tell my friends. Oh, and my job. Maybe that will help to explain me falling asleep in a video conference last Friday 😣  (I’m not totally pressed though; in my defense, it was scheduled for 11:30-3:30 with no lunch).

On Valentine’s Day, B gave me 2 dozen roses with a note that said “Love and kisses Mommy-to-be”.
Very sweet 😊.

“Morning” sickness ramped up last week, and at 11 weeks I threw up for the first time. Totally gross experience that I hope never happens again. Hoping the queasiness dies down so I can be more strategic about what I eat; I’ve already gained 11 pounds.

Had my NT scan yesterday at 11 weeks 5 days. I have even more sonogram photos that I’m trying not to spend a lot of time staring at. Both the OB and the ultrasound tech commented on how active this little one is. Looks like life is going to be interesting.

As of two days ago, I’ve officially graduated from the RE’s office. No more Progesterone shots! Thank goodness; since my upper outer quadrants are each one big bruise. Looking forward to being able to heal! I’m now a normal pregnant woman, at least on the outside. Mentally, I know what it took to get here, and am overjoyed. Even through the queasiness, fatigue, and round ligament pains.

First OB appointment

Wednesday was my first appointment with Dr. L. He remind me somewhat of a GYN I had who spoke really fast and always had one foot out the door. Fortunately, I did feel like he was answering all of my questions and he took his time with the exam part.   B was super late and missed the whole talking part, which didn’t help my anxiety levels any. Fortunately, the told me they would wait for him for the exam part. That was the first time he saw the little one, who was “dancing” up a storm! That was a lot of fun to watch. Due to my past surgeries, it’s been determined that I will deliver via c-section sometime in mid-August (bet 8/16-8/30). So at 9w6d, I probably have 27 weeks left instead of 30. I prefer Leos to Virgos, so I’ll have to see when the dates are. I liked the idea of having the baby on 8/18/18 at exactly 37 weeks, but that’s a Saturday and Dr. L mentioned preferring the presence of full staff. 8/16/18 has a nice cadence as well...

Have to go back in 2 weeks for an NT scan and NIPT, non-invasive prenatal testing that screens for chromosomal abnormalities. I’m trying to figure out how to leave work for a half day without telling them yet. I’d really prefer to wait until the next trimester... especially since I’m just ending my fourth week.

Dr. L seems to be very sympathetic to IVF patients, though he mentioned that once I get to this point, I’m now like everyone else 😊. He said that after going through all of the effort to get pregnant, he would recommend NIPT before doing CVS or an amniocentesis  due to the risk they carry; basically only if they are truly necessary. He also said that at this point the chances of miscarriage are very low. From his lips to God’s ears!

Graduating

Last Thursday I had my final appointment with my RE. He told me to send pictures of the baby in 7 months or less. I still have to go in once a week for blood work, but I’m also now being weaned from the estrogen patches and progesterone in oil shots. My upper outer quadrants are totally ready for this to be over, and if all goes according to plan I have 10 PIO shots before I’m done. I’ll be like every other pregnant person waiting a month for an ultrasound and hoping everything is still OK in the interim. Deep breaths.

First OB appt is in two days. I hope I’ll be able to sleep tomorrow night. I’m sure these days are going to drag. 

Sidelined with the flu

The last week has been hectic. B was sick, which almost never happens. He never went to the doctor, so it wasn’t until I felt terrible on Monday night (once he was feeling better) that I decided to go to the doctor on Tuesday. Despite getting the flu shot in October, I had a very nasty bug. Nothing like telling your job of one week that you won’t be back for a week; at least I have a laptop and felt well enough to work yesterday. 

Whole time I was trying to get my fever down (when I was awake), I was worried about my little bean and hoping that everything was OK. Went to the RE on Thursday with a mask on so I wouldn’t miss my ultrasound. CRL more than doubled and heart rate was 159, so none worse for the wear, thank goodness. 

Today I have to do some housework, even though I’m still taking it easy.  B is not a cleaner, and the bloodhound in me has detected that something in the fridge needs to go. 🤢 

Now I have to decide when I’m going to tell my family. What a dilemma to have! ☺️