32 weeks - 8 month mark

Wow 8 months pregnant. Didn’t realize it’s been that long since I posted. Just a quick symptom list, and then later this week I’ll post about the baby shower, which was 3 weeks ago today.

Sooo ready for next month. Mostly uncomfortable and short of breath now. Have meralgia parasthetica in my left leg, so all I want to do is walk around in short shorts or underwear. Have some back pain off and on. This little one inside likes to move a bunch! Last week, our bean was in the 55th percentile at 3 lbs 8 oz in weight.

I’ve started sleeping in a recliner in the living room (more in the recliner later). Also have placenta previa, but as I was already a scheduled c section due to the past surgeries, it doesn’t change anything. August 16th is my date. I’ll be 36 weeks and  5 days then. Only 4 weeks and 5 days to go!

Huge post - Happy “almost Mother’s Day”

Yesterday was Mother’s Day, and it made me realize how lax I’ve been at posting the lax few weeks. So here goes a huge update:

19.5 weeks - Anatomy scan. This little one did not cooperate. The tech couldn’t get a profile or a heartbeat, so I had to go back a week later for a follow up. They tried having me turn, giving me juice, juggling the transducer.... I have a hider. B kept looking and saying, “No paparazzi, no paparazzi.” I laughed and told him it is definitely your child, hiding from the cameras. Baby gave us its backside a bunch... so like B.  He said he wanted to know gender, so when I was safely ensconced in the bathroom, he was given the news. I told him he couldn’t tell anyone at all. So why does he tell my mother that he knows but can’t tell her, which gets her upset 😡. Then he tells me he doesn’t understand why I don’t want her to know. I’d like to be next on the knowledge list, so she’s going to have to wait. She said something to me about it the next day (about loving me anyway). I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to her as harshly when I told her to drop it. Seriously!?!?!

20.5 weeks - anatomy scan part 2. First pictures show baby with an arm covering its face. Baby just wants to be left alone 😂. I have a bit of a cough, so I’m addition to the turning and jiggling, the tech has me coughing every so often. She thinks she has the right pics, and leaves me on the table to check with the doctor. I am lying on the table having to pee desparately, and she’s gone a looooong time. 😳

21.5 weeks - someone at work makes me sick. Yuck! I’m out for the count for the next week and a half. Thank goodness I can work from home.  Cough still hasn’t gone away totally, but fortunately it’s become bearable. I bought a new inflatable neck roll, which is saving my life, since I have to sleep partially sitting up. I appear to have developed meralgia parasthetica, and have a pins and needles feeling in my left leg all the time, which is no fun to sleep on. Sleeping on the right side doesn’t really work either, as I can feel the pressure on my liver. Can’t wait for August. Starting to feel better. Go to a church fundraiser and put on heels for 2 hours. Couldn’t believe how I felt when they came off. My feet hurt for almost a week. Like achey bones. I’m done with them until this baby comes. That sucked.

22 weeks - let the swelling begin. It’s not crazy edema, and expected at this time. I don’t have very pronounced ankles to begin with, so they can disappear pretty easily. Starting to see indentations from my shores and socks when the come off. My boobs are even bigger; I may have to get a bigger size maternity bra. I’ve already gone from a DD to an E; hope I’m not hitting a G. At any rate that may be what I have to buy so that I don’t waste money on an interim size 😣.

I got kicked this week. Hard, and twice. Was sitting at my desk speaking with someone and felt it. She’s a work friend of mine, so I grabbed her hand, and she was able to feel the second one. She told me that if it’s a girl, there’s a Rockette in there.  I’ve started feeling nauseous again. Thought that was over.

My sister was bugging me for addresses for the shower, two weeks ago, but no one received invites as of a couple of days ago. I don’t know why she was bugging me, then.

My grandmother asked me what I wanted. I told her to tell me her range, and then I would tell her. Instead of doing that, she goes into the store and buys a whole bunch of little “nice-to-have” stuff instead of “need” stuff. I confess to being disappointed. I know that sounds ungrateful, but I can’t help it.

23 weeks - thought I was over morning sickness. What a lovely intro to Mother’s Day weekend. Will need to wear lots of makeup to hide the popped capillaries in my face from throwing up. Ugh. Took my niece to a festival in Central Park because I promised. Of course it rained. I didn’t factor in having to use a portable potty. So traumatized. I almost got sick again. She had a great time, so I guess that what matters most.

B’s eldest niece is having a surprise party next weekend. He gets a text from one asking if they can stay with us. I asked him to clarify “they”. My SIL originally told me it would be just the 2 sisters, but now they say they are bringing some of their kids. It turns out B has procrastinated on putting the bed that’s currently in the office (being converted to the nursery) into storage out of sheer procrastination. But now they will need to use it. Which means I can’t get anything done in there next weekend 😡. I really don’t want them to stay. They don’t clean up after themselves or their kids much. And the house is in a bit of disarray because we’ve been moving things around and it takes B forever to do anything. #TickedOff.

B’s finally weighed in on a girl name. We’ll see if he changes his mind like he does about the boy. I’ve kept pretty mum about names since we keep going back and forth. Think I’ll stick to that. He told me Happy Almost-Mother’s Day yesterday. Everyone else says Happy Mother to Be are something like that. He’s such a strange bird.

Outing myself and NT Scan

So much to tell; I’ll go in order:

Outed myself to my family two weeks ago. My cousin in Italy cried and is already planning a shopping trip to Milan. She’s promised not to send anything directly to me until April. I tried for May, but didn’t want to stifle her enthusiasm. ☺️  I FaceTimed my grandmother to tell her. her first words were, “Oh, Thank you, Jesus, I’m so happy.”  She spent the rest of the call beaming while she had tears streaming down her face; almost made me cry.

One of my aunts screamed when she realized that I was putting in my order for a crocheted baby blanket for myself and not one of my friends. I think my ear was wrong for a while after that.

My SIL told me to wait a second, then dropped the phone. When she came back on, I asked her if she was crying. She answered “No” in a shaky, tear-filled voice. I laughed a called her a liar. Then she started fussing with B for not telling her when she spoke with her earlier in the week, which he promptly proclaimed to be my fault. 😒  The she hung up to tell her kids and her best friend, only to call me back in outrage when no one picked up the phone. 😂 She’s already putting in her vacation so she can be in the waiting room.

One of my cousins who lives close by told me she knew I looked different when she saw me. I told her it was my Fenty foundation.

Those are the stories that really stood out. It was a fun day, with lots of congrats and smiles. Once the trimester is over, I’ll tell my friends. Oh, and my job. Maybe that will help to explain me falling asleep in a video conference last Friday 😣  (I’m not totally pressed though; in my defense, it was scheduled for 11:30-3:30 with no lunch).

On Valentine’s Day, B gave me 2 dozen roses with a note that said “Love and kisses Mommy-to-be”.
Very sweet 😊.

“Morning” sickness ramped up last week, and at 11 weeks I threw up for the first time. Totally gross experience that I hope never happens again. Hoping the queasiness dies down so I can be more strategic about what I eat; I’ve already gained 11 pounds.

Had my NT scan yesterday at 11 weeks 5 days. I have even more sonogram photos that I’m trying not to spend a lot of time staring at. Both the OB and the ultrasound tech commented on how active this little one is. Looks like life is going to be interesting.

As of two days ago, I’ve officially graduated from the RE’s office. No more Progesterone shots! Thank goodness; since my upper outer quadrants are each one big bruise. Looking forward to being able to heal! I’m now a normal pregnant woman, at least on the outside. Mentally, I know what it took to get here, and am overjoyed. Even through the queasiness, fatigue, and round ligament pains.

First OB appointment

Wednesday was my first appointment with Dr. L. He remind me somewhat of a GYN I had who spoke really fast and always had one foot out the door. Fortunately, I did feel like he was answering all of my questions and he took his time with the exam part.   B was super late and missed the whole talking part, which didn’t help my anxiety levels any. Fortunately, the told me they would wait for him for the exam part. That was the first time he saw the little one, who was “dancing” up a storm! That was a lot of fun to watch. Due to my past surgeries, it’s been determined that I will deliver via c-section sometime in mid-August (bet 8/16-8/30). So at 9w6d, I probably have 27 weeks left instead of 30. I prefer Leos to Virgos, so I’ll have to see when the dates are. I liked the idea of having the baby on 8/18/18 at exactly 37 weeks, but that’s a Saturday and Dr. L mentioned preferring the presence of full staff. 8/16/18 has a nice cadence as well...

Have to go back in 2 weeks for an NT scan and NIPT, non-invasive prenatal testing that screens for chromosomal abnormalities. I’m trying to figure out how to leave work for a half day without telling them yet. I’d really prefer to wait until the next trimester... especially since I’m just ending my fourth week.

Dr. L seems to be very sympathetic to IVF patients, though he mentioned that once I get to this point, I’m now like everyone else 😊. He said that after going through all of the effort to get pregnant, he would recommend NIPT before doing CVS or an amniocentesis  due to the risk they carry; basically only if they are truly necessary. He also said that at this point the chances of miscarriage are very low. From his lips to God’s ears!

Graduating

Last Thursday I had my final appointment with my RE. He told me to send pictures of the baby in 7 months or less. I still have to go in once a week for blood work, but I’m also now being weaned from the estrogen patches and progesterone in oil shots. My upper outer quadrants are totally ready for this to be over, and if all goes according to plan I have 10 PIO shots before I’m done. I’ll be like every other pregnant person waiting a month for an ultrasound and hoping everything is still OK in the interim. Deep breaths.

First OB appt is in two days. I hope I’ll be able to sleep tomorrow night. I’m sure these days are going to drag. 

Sidelined with the flu

The last week has been hectic. B was sick, which almost never happens. He never went to the doctor, so it wasn’t until I felt terrible on Monday night (once he was feeling better) that I decided to go to the doctor on Tuesday. Despite getting the flu shot in October, I had a very nasty bug. Nothing like telling your job of one week that you won’t be back for a week; at least I have a laptop and felt well enough to work yesterday. 

Whole time I was trying to get my fever down (when I was awake), I was worried about my little bean and hoping that everything was OK. Went to the RE on Thursday with a mask on so I wouldn’t miss my ultrasound. CRL more than doubled and heart rate was 159, so none worse for the wear, thank goodness. 

Today I have to do some housework, even though I’m still taking it easy.  B is not a cleaner, and the bloodhound in me has detected that something in the fridge needs to go. 🤢 

Now I have to decide when I’m going to tell my family. What a dilemma to have! ☺️

Heartbeats

Went for ultrasound and doctor asked if I wanted to hear something. Suddenly there was a steady “flub flub flub” in the room. 121bpm. Heard that little heartbeat, and my heart started beating faster. My RE told me to make an appointment with an OB. Imagine that! I’m almost on to normal pregnancy stuff. Doctor asked me yesterday if I was feeling sick, to which I was able to say a definitive no. All that changed yesterday afternoon, when I feared I would embarrass myself at work at the sudden onslaught of queasiness. Well, I did ask for some signs that I was still pregnant between ultrasounds...

Congratulations, you’re pregnant

Those were my nurse’s words to me on Tuesday. First time I ever heard them, so I’m cautiously optimistic. Second Beta yesterday was 611, and she said it looks great, so I don’t have to go in until Tuesday. I’ll be more hopeful after next Thursday’s ultrasound and breathe a sigh of relief after 6 weeks 2 days. We’ll be officially out once we hit the 8 week marker, and that’s when the rest of the family will find out. 21 days to go. This may be harder than the 2ww. Thank goodness I’ll have a new job to keep me busy. 😁

For those on the symptom watch, I’m super tired, but sleep in mostly  3-4 hour intervals and then awake. Some bloating. Have to pee ALL. The. Time.  That’s accompanied by being majorly thirsty (thus a vicious cycle)  Lower back is aching  and I’ve got a few red pimples that have popped up across my nose (I have really clear skin, and only get the occasional period pimples so this can only be hormones). Still intermittent crampiness, but zero spotting so I’m much less anxious. Felt slight queasiness yesterday, which went away after too long. Breasts feel like full water balloons swinging in the wind.

Loving every minute of it. 

5 weeks 4 days pregnant - lots of thoughts

I've had a multitude of emotions over the last few days. So many conversations with doctors where I they tell me one thing looks good, but something else is iffy. I go from being calm to anxious to excited to numb. I've spotted or bled almost every day.  I wish there was a label that told me when to worry and when everything was fine. 

Dr. L is the fellow who did the ultrasound during my transfer. I saw her yesterday when I was bleeding. She told me my HCG levels should be double what they were and the bleeding could be my body aborting. Great conversation. 

Well they took my blood again. Dr. E calls me yesterday evening and says that my HCG went to 4342, so it doesn't look ectopic. It more than doubled in a day!

This morning Dr. L calls me and tells me that my HCG levels look normal, so that's really good. Also that they are going to have me go to the hospital and do am ultrasound, which will be read by the head of the radiology department. He will let us know if it's ectopic and should be able to see the sac. So in the next 3.5 hours, I should know something.

I may post twice today. Just had to get it out. This blog and my IF friends are the only ways to really get this out. Sadly, only someone who has been through this really and truly gets it. 

Random thought - 5 weeks & 3 days pregnant

Short post today. Have an appointment tomorrow, and will fill you in then on the appointments, E2 levels, spotting, etc. So before I lost 27 pounds, I have had people ask me if I was pregnant on occasion. My answer was always, "No; I'm just fat". I will probably just ask why they ask as opposed to sharing at this point, but at least I won't get my feelings hurt ;)

Roller coaster of a day (LONG)

More joys and fears. I go in for Beta 4 and they call me in for blood almost right away. Takes me longer to park and walk from the car. Great start! Nurse calls me during church. Fortunately, I'm sitting on the aisle, so I whisper to wait a second  into the phone and then speed walk out of the sanctuary. Nurse V (not my usual one) tells me Beta is 800. Wow. She doesn't have my estrogen level but doesn't give off any worried vibes. She tells me to schedule my scan tomorrow and that minus my first beta, my rises are textbook. Even greater news!

I decide not to worry about the estrogen and just enjoy being pregnant. I actually post on a pregnant after infertility board. 

And then I start spotting again. Ugh. It would be nice to be like those people who sneeze and get pregnant, and never worry about viability. My sorority sister told her manager the minute she was confirmed at 4 weeks! My whole family knew my sister was pregnant with her first at 5 weeks. Instead, I get to be concerned about every little twinge. I really don't like being neurotic. I want totally calm, serene. But now I have to call the doctor on call because I am feeling weird twinges and spotting and the panic sets in. 

Dr. P tells me that my beta is great and the ectopic concerns aren't really there anymore since the beta number is so fantastic now. Also that my estrogen has gone up a little more. That's a bit of a comfort. 

Damn spotting scares the crap out of me.