5 weeks 4 days pregnant - lots of thoughts

I've had a multitude of emotions over the last few days. So many conversations with doctors where I they tell me one thing looks good, but something else is iffy. I go from being calm to anxious to excited to numb. I've spotted or bled almost every day.  I wish there was a label that told me when to worry and when everything was fine. 

Dr. L is the fellow who did the ultrasound during my transfer. I saw her yesterday when I was bleeding. She told me my HCG levels should be double what they were and the bleeding could be my body aborting. Great conversation. 

Well they took my blood again. Dr. E calls me yesterday evening and says that my HCG went to 4342, so it doesn't look ectopic. It more than doubled in a day!

This morning Dr. L calls me and tells me that my HCG levels look normal, so that's really good. Also that they are going to have me go to the hospital and do am ultrasound, which will be read by the head of the radiology department. He will let us know if it's ectopic and should be able to see the sac. So in the next 3.5 hours, I should know something.

I may post twice today. Just had to get it out. This blog and my IF friends are the only ways to really get this out. Sadly, only someone who has been through this really and truly gets it.