35 weeks pregnant...

... and super uncomfortable. Just when you think you couldn’t get more uncomfortable, you find out that your stomach can stretch a little more, that round ligament pain can occur like a beast in the 3rd trimester, and that it’s possible to be constipated even after eating more fiber than you know what to do with and drinking enough liquids to make you seasick 😂. Eleven days to go, and they can’t come soon enough. I’m getting more impatient to see this little face.

Shower recap still to come... soon!

32 weeks - 8 month mark

Wow 8 months pregnant. Didn’t realize it’s been that long since I posted. Just a quick symptom list, and then later this week I’ll post about the baby shower, which was 3 weeks ago today.

Sooo ready for next month. Mostly uncomfortable and short of breath now. Have meralgia parasthetica in my left leg, so all I want to do is walk around in short shorts or underwear. Have some back pain off and on. This little one inside likes to move a bunch! Last week, our bean was in the 55th percentile at 3 lbs 8 oz in weight.

I’ve started sleeping in a recliner in the living room (more in the recliner later). Also have placenta previa, but as I was already a scheduled c section due to the past surgeries, it doesn’t change anything. August 16th is my date. I’ll be 36 weeks and  5 days then. Only 4 weeks and 5 days to go!

26 weeks 5 days pregnant

I’m getting closer, and it’s a wonderful thing. I have a round belly, and look pregnant. Ironically enough, I’m over the “being pregnant” phase, and ready to officially be a mom. Hopefully no earlier than August 16th, though. I’d prefer the baby  not have a NICU stay.

This little one is sitting in the nerve in my left leg, which is quite painful, but it will be totally worth it  in another 10 weeks when this one arrives.

I will find out with the next 9-12 days what date I will be scheduled for.  I will have a scheduled c-section due to past surgeries and a low placenta.

I have a very active little one who likes to move a LOT. Looking forward to seeing a face. 

Huge post - Happy “almost Mother’s Day”

Yesterday was Mother’s Day, and it made me realize how lax I’ve been at posting the lax few weeks. So here goes a huge update:

19.5 weeks - Anatomy scan. This little one did not cooperate. The tech couldn’t get a profile or a heartbeat, so I had to go back a week later for a follow up. They tried having me turn, giving me juice, juggling the transducer.... I have a hider. B kept looking and saying, “No paparazzi, no paparazzi.” I laughed and told him it is definitely your child, hiding from the cameras. Baby gave us its backside a bunch... so like B.  He said he wanted to know gender, so when I was safely ensconced in the bathroom, he was given the news. I told him he couldn’t tell anyone at all. So why does he tell my mother that he knows but can’t tell her, which gets her upset 😡. Then he tells me he doesn’t understand why I don’t want her to know. I’d like to be next on the knowledge list, so she’s going to have to wait. She said something to me about it the next day (about loving me anyway). I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to her as harshly when I told her to drop it. Seriously!?!?!

20.5 weeks - anatomy scan part 2. First pictures show baby with an arm covering its face. Baby just wants to be left alone 😂. I have a bit of a cough, so I’m addition to the turning and jiggling, the tech has me coughing every so often. She thinks she has the right pics, and leaves me on the table to check with the doctor. I am lying on the table having to pee desparately, and she’s gone a looooong time. 😳

21.5 weeks - someone at work makes me sick. Yuck! I’m out for the count for the next week and a half. Thank goodness I can work from home.  Cough still hasn’t gone away totally, but fortunately it’s become bearable. I bought a new inflatable neck roll, which is saving my life, since I have to sleep partially sitting up. I appear to have developed meralgia parasthetica, and have a pins and needles feeling in my left leg all the time, which is no fun to sleep on. Sleeping on the right side doesn’t really work either, as I can feel the pressure on my liver. Can’t wait for August. Starting to feel better. Go to a church fundraiser and put on heels for 2 hours. Couldn’t believe how I felt when they came off. My feet hurt for almost a week. Like achey bones. I’m done with them until this baby comes. That sucked.

22 weeks - let the swelling begin. It’s not crazy edema, and expected at this time. I don’t have very pronounced ankles to begin with, so they can disappear pretty easily. Starting to see indentations from my shores and socks when the come off. My boobs are even bigger; I may have to get a bigger size maternity bra. I’ve already gone from a DD to an E; hope I’m not hitting a G. At any rate that may be what I have to buy so that I don’t waste money on an interim size 😣.

I got kicked this week. Hard, and twice. Was sitting at my desk speaking with someone and felt it. She’s a work friend of mine, so I grabbed her hand, and she was able to feel the second one. She told me that if it’s a girl, there’s a Rockette in there.  I’ve started feeling nauseous again. Thought that was over.

My sister was bugging me for addresses for the shower, two weeks ago, but no one received invites as of a couple of days ago. I don’t know why she was bugging me, then.

My grandmother asked me what I wanted. I told her to tell me her range, and then I would tell her. Instead of doing that, she goes into the store and buys a whole bunch of little “nice-to-have” stuff instead of “need” stuff. I confess to being disappointed. I know that sounds ungrateful, but I can’t help it.

23 weeks - thought I was over morning sickness. What a lovely intro to Mother’s Day weekend. Will need to wear lots of makeup to hide the popped capillaries in my face from throwing up. Ugh. Took my niece to a festival in Central Park because I promised. Of course it rained. I didn’t factor in having to use a portable potty. So traumatized. I almost got sick again. She had a great time, so I guess that what matters most.

B’s eldest niece is having a surprise party next weekend. He gets a text from one asking if they can stay with us. I asked him to clarify “they”. My SIL originally told me it would be just the 2 sisters, but now they say they are bringing some of their kids. It turns out B has procrastinated on putting the bed that’s currently in the office (being converted to the nursery) into storage out of sheer procrastination. But now they will need to use it. Which means I can’t get anything done in there next weekend 😡. I really don’t want them to stay. They don’t clean up after themselves or their kids much. And the house is in a bit of disarray because we’ve been moving things around and it takes B forever to do anything. #TickedOff.

B’s finally weighed in on a girl name. We’ll see if he changes his mind like he does about the boy. I’ve kept pretty mum about names since we keep going back and forth. Think I’ll stick to that. He told me Happy Almost-Mother’s Day yesterday. Everyone else says Happy Mother to Be are something like that. He’s such a strange bird.

A difference

I almost named this post “fear”. Mainly because of the way I’ve been feeling. As the sickness wears off and my boobs hurt less, I was really starting to not feel pregnant. Burgeoning belly not withstanding, my mind was a barrage of all the things that could not be going right. Two weeks ago I started spotting, and ended up going for an ultrasound. Everything looked fine, and they said I’m just one of those lucky people that happens to. Fortunately, it stopped by the next day.

Now it’s been two weeks without an ultrasound, and every symptom that I look up that could mean something benign or concerning has me fearing the worse...

...Or, it did. I told myself to shake it off. Out loud. Told B how I was feeling and my fear, which helped a little to alleviate it. The rest of it was shaken off as I sat at my desk at work and felt three quick pulses a few inches below my navel as my baby moved for the first time.

What a difference a day makes. 

16 weeks pregnant

16 weeks and 1 day today. Had my OB visit 2 days ago. Doctor was trying to listen to the baby’s heartbeat with a Doppler, but was having a difficult time. I tried very hard to stay calm, and did a creditable job. He decided to switch to an ultrasound. There was the little troublemaker, behind the placenta (which is in front). The baby’s was facing my back with his/her butt in the placenta. Stubborn little thing didn’t want to be bothered. 😂 Everything else looked good. Bones are going through ossification, so the baby’s spine was clearly visible. Pretty cool.

I must say, now that I’m just like every other pregnant person and only getting monitored once a month, it takes a concerted effort not to worry about how things are progressing in the interim. The fact that my little stubborn one had to be physically seen took a major load off my mind. I also know it will be a waste for me to buy a home Doppler! Anatomy scan in 4 weeks !

Now that I’m officially out, I feel like I’ve popped. I have a round belly, not a little bump. I’m really not a huge fan of people rubbing my belly; yuck! I think I’m going to get a shirt that says “Don’t touch!”

Pregnancy symptoms: still very congested. Queasiness is tapering off, followed by indigestion.  Still having some bouts of insomnia. My boobs are seriously full and super sensitive. I went up a cup size. Went clothes shopping with a friend today. It was fun, and I have some new cute and comfy clothes. ☺️

NT/NIPT results, out and a little scared

I’m now 14.5 weeks pregnant. Hello, second trimester. NT and NIPT (cell-free DNA) results are in and no abnormalities were detected. Need to chat with DH, but I believe we’re going to forego the amniocentesis. No need to do anything with the risk of miscarriage.

I’m now out at work and to my friends. I haven’t made any social media declarations. Those will happen organically, as I show up pregnant in pictures.

Next prenatal is in 10 days. Going a whole month without a scan is super scary, especially as symptoms wane and I can’t feel movement yet. I tell myself to relax at least twice a week. Maybe I’ll get a Doppler. Or maybe listing my symptoms will help : increased appetite, pudginess, CRAZY fatigue, occasional cramps/round ligament pain, pregnancy congestion, increased saliva (like a Saint Bernard), vivid dreams, occasional nausea, constipation.  I’ve been told that I’m glowing, but I think that’s my Fenty makeup 😉.

Outing myself and NT Scan

So much to tell; I’ll go in order:

Outed myself to my family two weeks ago. My cousin in Italy cried and is already planning a shopping trip to Milan. She’s promised not to send anything directly to me until April. I tried for May, but didn’t want to stifle her enthusiasm. ☺️  I FaceTimed my grandmother to tell her. her first words were, “Oh, Thank you, Jesus, I’m so happy.”  She spent the rest of the call beaming while she had tears streaming down her face; almost made me cry.

One of my aunts screamed when she realized that I was putting in my order for a crocheted baby blanket for myself and not one of my friends. I think my ear was wrong for a while after that.

My SIL told me to wait a second, then dropped the phone. When she came back on, I asked her if she was crying. She answered “No” in a shaky, tear-filled voice. I laughed a called her a liar. Then she started fussing with B for not telling her when she spoke with her earlier in the week, which he promptly proclaimed to be my fault. 😒  The she hung up to tell her kids and her best friend, only to call me back in outrage when no one picked up the phone. 😂 She’s already putting in her vacation so she can be in the waiting room.

One of my cousins who lives close by told me she knew I looked different when she saw me. I told her it was my Fenty foundation.

Those are the stories that really stood out. It was a fun day, with lots of congrats and smiles. Once the trimester is over, I’ll tell my friends. Oh, and my job. Maybe that will help to explain me falling asleep in a video conference last Friday 😣  (I’m not totally pressed though; in my defense, it was scheduled for 11:30-3:30 with no lunch).

On Valentine’s Day, B gave me 2 dozen roses with a note that said “Love and kisses Mommy-to-be”.
Very sweet 😊.

“Morning” sickness ramped up last week, and at 11 weeks I threw up for the first time. Totally gross experience that I hope never happens again. Hoping the queasiness dies down so I can be more strategic about what I eat; I’ve already gained 11 pounds.

Had my NT scan yesterday at 11 weeks 5 days. I have even more sonogram photos that I’m trying not to spend a lot of time staring at. Both the OB and the ultrasound tech commented on how active this little one is. Looks like life is going to be interesting.

As of two days ago, I’ve officially graduated from the RE’s office. No more Progesterone shots! Thank goodness; since my upper outer quadrants are each one big bruise. Looking forward to being able to heal! I’m now a normal pregnant woman, at least on the outside. Mentally, I know what it took to get here, and am overjoyed. Even through the queasiness, fatigue, and round ligament pains.

First OB appointment

Wednesday was my first appointment with Dr. L. He remind me somewhat of a GYN I had who spoke really fast and always had one foot out the door. Fortunately, I did feel like he was answering all of my questions and he took his time with the exam part.   B was super late and missed the whole talking part, which didn’t help my anxiety levels any. Fortunately, the told me they would wait for him for the exam part. That was the first time he saw the little one, who was “dancing” up a storm! That was a lot of fun to watch. Due to my past surgeries, it’s been determined that I will deliver via c-section sometime in mid-August (bet 8/16-8/30). So at 9w6d, I probably have 27 weeks left instead of 30. I prefer Leos to Virgos, so I’ll have to see when the dates are. I liked the idea of having the baby on 8/18/18 at exactly 37 weeks, but that’s a Saturday and Dr. L mentioned preferring the presence of full staff. 8/16/18 has a nice cadence as well...

Have to go back in 2 weeks for an NT scan and NIPT, non-invasive prenatal testing that screens for chromosomal abnormalities. I’m trying to figure out how to leave work for a half day without telling them yet. I’d really prefer to wait until the next trimester... especially since I’m just ending my fourth week.

Dr. L seems to be very sympathetic to IVF patients, though he mentioned that once I get to this point, I’m now like everyone else 😊. He said that after going through all of the effort to get pregnant, he would recommend NIPT before doing CVS or an amniocentesis  due to the risk they carry; basically only if they are truly necessary. He also said that at this point the chances of miscarriage are very low. From his lips to God’s ears!

Graduating

Last Thursday I had my final appointment with my RE. He told me to send pictures of the baby in 7 months or less. I still have to go in once a week for blood work, but I’m also now being weaned from the estrogen patches and progesterone in oil shots. My upper outer quadrants are totally ready for this to be over, and if all goes according to plan I have 10 PIO shots before I’m done. I’ll be like every other pregnant person waiting a month for an ultrasound and hoping everything is still OK in the interim. Deep breaths.

First OB appt is in two days. I hope I’ll be able to sleep tomorrow night. I’m sure these days are going to drag. 

Sidelined with the flu

The last week has been hectic. B was sick, which almost never happens. He never went to the doctor, so it wasn’t until I felt terrible on Monday night (once he was feeling better) that I decided to go to the doctor on Tuesday. Despite getting the flu shot in October, I had a very nasty bug. Nothing like telling your job of one week that you won’t be back for a week; at least I have a laptop and felt well enough to work yesterday. 

Whole time I was trying to get my fever down (when I was awake), I was worried about my little bean and hoping that everything was OK. Went to the RE on Thursday with a mask on so I wouldn’t miss my ultrasound. CRL more than doubled and heart rate was 159, so none worse for the wear, thank goodness. 

Today I have to do some housework, even though I’m still taking it easy.  B is not a cleaner, and the bloodhound in me has detected that something in the fridge needs to go. 🤢 

Now I have to decide when I’m going to tell my family. What a dilemma to have! ☺️

Heartbeats

Went for ultrasound and doctor asked if I wanted to hear something. Suddenly there was a steady “flub flub flub” in the room. 121bpm. Heard that little heartbeat, and my heart started beating faster. My RE told me to make an appointment with an OB. Imagine that! I’m almost on to normal pregnancy stuff. Doctor asked me yesterday if I was feeling sick, to which I was able to say a definitive no. All that changed yesterday afternoon, when I feared I would embarrass myself at work at the sudden onslaught of queasiness. Well, I did ask for some signs that I was still pregnant between ultrasounds...

Updates and a bit of a scare

ive been a delinquent poster of late. In my defense, it’s been busier than I expected, even with taking a week between jobs. Mainly because I had a laundry list of things I planned to get done. Can’t say I got through half, but lists are made to be reworked.

Had an ultrasound last Thursday. Saw one little yolk sac in the right place, so ectopic fears are gone, thank goodness. Now we wait for the heartbeat. Fingers and toes crossed.

Had a scare Monday night, which was 6 weeks and 2 days (when I miscarried last time). B gives me the progesterone shot and then I have to pee. Use the toilet, turn to put the seat down and see blood. Instant panic until I realize that it’s from the injection site, which took longer to clot than usual, and bled through the bandaid. Good grief. 

Congratulations, you’re pregnant

Those were my nurse’s words to me on Tuesday. First time I ever heard them, so I’m cautiously optimistic. Second Beta yesterday was 611, and she said it looks great, so I don’t have to go in until Tuesday. I’ll be more hopeful after next Thursday’s ultrasound and breathe a sigh of relief after 6 weeks 2 days. We’ll be officially out once we hit the 8 week marker, and that’s when the rest of the family will find out. 21 days to go. This may be harder than the 2ww. Thank goodness I’ll have a new job to keep me busy. 😁

For those on the symptom watch, I’m super tired, but sleep in mostly  3-4 hour intervals and then awake. Some bloating. Have to pee ALL. The. Time.  That’s accompanied by being majorly thirsty (thus a vicious cycle)  Lower back is aching  and I’ve got a few red pimples that have popped up across my nose (I have really clear skin, and only get the occasional period pimples so this can only be hormones). Still intermittent crampiness, but zero spotting so I’m much less anxious. Felt slight queasiness yesterday, which went away after too long. Breasts feel like full water balloons swinging in the wind.

Loving every minute of it. 

New year, new job, new...mini me?

So long, 2017.  Happy to see it go like yesterday's trash.

It's been a very busy December.  I did a final interview for a new job, and am pleased as punch that they offered it to me right before Christmas.  So the day after my embryo transfer, I took myself to a fingerprinting place for my background check.  On the 26th, I gave my official notice, and will start the new position in a couple of weeks.  Happy joy!

Last Saturday, I started to feel really crampy. Very little spotting, but way crampy. Sunday, mega crampy, in a way that made Saturday feel like I was being tickled.  I was pretty sure it was the d@mn adenomyosis rearing it's ugly head.  It can happen at any time, but right before AF is when it's at its absolute worse. Took two extra strength Tylenol, and slept with the heating pad.

Beta was this morning, and I was sitting here trying to decide if I would post as soon as I knew, or if I would wait and see how I felt.  After reading a great article,  I decided I would share. After all, there are more people looking for hope in the nasty world of IF than there are people who know my face, and if I am able to provide even a little sliver, it's totally worth it.

I've written all the above while I wait and hope.  What an exercise in patience (which I don't always have)!

Funny how when the phone starts ringing, it doesn't stop.  Received four calls, one after the other. while soaking to two at a time, I see my nurse calling.  "I have good news for you," she says. "Congratulations, you're pregnant." First Beta: 320.

Yay, 2018!