To test or not to test...

...that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
the (stings) and arrows of outrageous misfortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
by waiting until my Beta. ...To wait, to test;
to test, perchance to know--ay, there's the rub:
For in that death of ignorance what other dreams may die?


Ahh, Hamlet! Somehow I don't think that Shakespeare knew how apropos this (paraphrased) soliloquy would be in the IVF world.  Anyone in a 2ww can relate, I'm sure. Beta next week. Time will tell outcome,  home test or no.

If I can stand to wait.

Things have been looking up.

Looks to be a bit of a good spell. I’m responding pretty well to the meds, so things are moving along. Picked up my new car in time for the snowy weather (thank you all wheel drive!) . Currently waiting for a job offer from a new company. 

2018 may be looking way up, indeed. 

And so it begins (again)...

its been a very long while since I posted. It’s been two and a half years of ups and downs.  For those who are currently going through loss, I will say that you do, eventually, “get over it”.  Not that you forget by any means, but the overwhelming sense of pain and loss does dull.  So there is hope.

I had surgery last year for a pretty large fibroid (size of a grapefruit and over a pound).  My RE thought that would help my chances. Time will tell on that score.  All I can say for now is that what followed was the most painful convalescence I’ve ever experienced.  It appears that I developed a condition called Adenomyosis, which means I have endometrial tissue in the wall of my uterus.  Periods feel like I’m miscarrying all over again (that painful!), but I can also have sudden pains when I don’t have my period, which is the WORST!!! I’ve been taking various prescribed narcotics to deal with the pain, and have now decided to go for broke.  Need to try again, before I completely give up and just have the plumbing removed, which is under serious contemplation.

So I’m on Lupron, and beginning a new cycle. I’ve decided I’m not going to blog daily about treatment this time, in an effort to preserve my sanity. So only periodic updates will be in effect. Of course, if I end up pregnant all bets are off 😏.

In other news, my new car was totaled. Be careful of 18-wheelers on a highway merge.  And try to get their plate number before they drive off.

I wasn’t driving and can therefore be much more sanguine about it. I’m choking on the two down payments in one year as we pay for an IVF cycle out of pocket, but at least we walked away with only a couple of bruises. This, too, shall pass.

Happy belated Thanksgiving. Time for a shot...