Updates and a bit of a scare

ive been a delinquent poster of late. In my defense, it’s been busier than I expected, even with taking a week between jobs. Mainly because I had a laundry list of things I planned to get done. Can’t say I got through half, but lists are made to be reworked.

Had an ultrasound last Thursday. Saw one little yolk sac in the right place, so ectopic fears are gone, thank goodness. Now we wait for the heartbeat. Fingers and toes crossed.

Had a scare Monday night, which was 6 weeks and 2 days (when I miscarried last time). B gives me the progesterone shot and then I have to pee. Use the toilet, turn to put the seat down and see blood. Instant panic until I realize that it’s from the injection site, which took longer to clot than usual, and bled through the bandaid. Good grief. 

Congratulations, you’re pregnant

Those were my nurse’s words to me on Tuesday. First time I ever heard them, so I’m cautiously optimistic. Second Beta yesterday was 611, and she said it looks great, so I don’t have to go in until Tuesday. I’ll be more hopeful after next Thursday’s ultrasound and breathe a sigh of relief after 6 weeks 2 days. We’ll be officially out once we hit the 8 week marker, and that’s when the rest of the family will find out. 21 days to go. This may be harder than the 2ww. Thank goodness I’ll have a new job to keep me busy. 😁

For those on the symptom watch, I’m super tired, but sleep in mostly  3-4 hour intervals and then awake. Some bloating. Have to pee ALL. The. Time.  That’s accompanied by being majorly thirsty (thus a vicious cycle)  Lower back is aching  and I’ve got a few red pimples that have popped up across my nose (I have really clear skin, and only get the occasional period pimples so this can only be hormones). Still intermittent crampiness, but zero spotting so I’m much less anxious. Felt slight queasiness yesterday, which went away after too long. Breasts feel like full water balloons swinging in the wind.

Loving every minute of it. 

New year, new job, new...mini me?

So long, 2017.  Happy to see it go like yesterday's trash.

It's been a very busy December.  I did a final interview for a new job, and am pleased as punch that they offered it to me right before Christmas.  So the day after my embryo transfer, I took myself to a fingerprinting place for my background check.  On the 26th, I gave my official notice, and will start the new position in a couple of weeks.  Happy joy!

Last Saturday, I started to feel really crampy. Very little spotting, but way crampy. Sunday, mega crampy, in a way that made Saturday feel like I was being tickled.  I was pretty sure it was the d@mn adenomyosis rearing it's ugly head.  It can happen at any time, but right before AF is when it's at its absolute worse. Took two extra strength Tylenol, and slept with the heating pad.

Beta was this morning, and I was sitting here trying to decide if I would post as soon as I knew, or if I would wait and see how I felt.  After reading a great article,  I decided I would share. After all, there are more people looking for hope in the nasty world of IF than there are people who know my face, and if I am able to provide even a little sliver, it's totally worth it.

I've written all the above while I wait and hope.  What an exercise in patience (which I don't always have)!

Funny how when the phone starts ringing, it doesn't stop.  Received four calls, one after the other. while soaking to two at a time, I see my nurse calling.  "I have good news for you," she says. "Congratulations, you're pregnant." First Beta: 320.

Yay, 2018!

To test or not to test...

...that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
the (stings) and arrows of outrageous misfortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
by waiting until my Beta. ...To wait, to test;
to test, perchance to know--ay, there's the rub:
For in that death of ignorance what other dreams may die?


Ahh, Hamlet! Somehow I don't think that Shakespeare knew how apropos this (paraphrased) soliloquy would be in the IVF world.  Anyone in a 2ww can relate, I'm sure. Beta next week. Time will tell outcome,  home test or no.

If I can stand to wait.

Things have been looking up.

Looks to be a bit of a good spell. I’m responding pretty well to the meds, so things are moving along. Picked up my new car in time for the snowy weather (thank you all wheel drive!) . Currently waiting for a job offer from a new company. 

2018 may be looking way up, indeed. 

And so it begins (again)...

its been a very long while since I posted. It’s been two and a half years of ups and downs.  For those who are currently going through loss, I will say that you do, eventually, “get over it”.  Not that you forget by any means, but the overwhelming sense of pain and loss does dull.  So there is hope.

I had surgery last year for a pretty large fibroid (size of a grapefruit and over a pound).  My RE thought that would help my chances. Time will tell on that score.  All I can say for now is that what followed was the most painful convalescence I’ve ever experienced.  It appears that I developed a condition called Adenomyosis, which means I have endometrial tissue in the wall of my uterus.  Periods feel like I’m miscarrying all over again (that painful!), but I can also have sudden pains when I don’t have my period, which is the WORST!!! I’ve been taking various prescribed narcotics to deal with the pain, and have now decided to go for broke.  Need to try again, before I completely give up and just have the plumbing removed, which is under serious contemplation.

So I’m on Lupron, and beginning a new cycle. I’ve decided I’m not going to blog daily about treatment this time, in an effort to preserve my sanity. So only periodic updates will be in effect. Of course, if I end up pregnant all bets are off 😏.

In other news, my new car was totaled. Be careful of 18-wheelers on a highway merge.  And try to get their plate number before they drive off.

I wasn’t driving and can therefore be much more sanguine about it. I’m choking on the two down payments in one year as we pay for an IVF cycle out of pocket, but at least we walked away with only a couple of bruises. This, too, shall pass.

Happy belated Thanksgiving. Time for a shot...

New year, ... New try?

Six weeks in, and it's been a back and forth. My phone was stolen on New Year's, which is a horrible start. I hit the 40 pound weight loss mark, but then went on vacation and gained several pounds back. At last weigh-in, I'd lost 37 pounds, and it will take a diligence I don't have right now to fight for those other 3. We'll see what happens. 

I spoke to B about cycling again. I'm not sure how he feels about, though. So IDK what's going to happen. Or if I will even blog about it, frankly. 

I guess time will tell.