...is the best way to describe it. I have had mixed feelings these last few days, wondering if... well, just wondering if this is the right thing to do; would it be so hard for us if this is what was meant to be?
So it was with some trepidation this morning that I went for the day 3 embryo transfer, with B grumbling not because of the time, but because that previous statement is answered by him with a resounding no. Yet I also know that we are given opportunities for a reason... I don't know anyone else who has gone through a cycle and had the entire thing covered by insurance. That has to count for something, right?
Not to be outdone by the stormy mood in the car, the weather was a torrential downpour by the time we got downtown. Parking only 1.5 blocks away, but with my little portable umbrella to share amongst us, I was pretty wet by the time we got to the office. Supposed to be there are 8:45 for a 9:15 appointment, but got there about ten minutes late... the first time ever. I started drinking water right away, and they called us in the back almost right away. Good thing water goes right through me, else I might have been way off schedule!
I get undressed and B has to slip on coveralls, booties, and a surgeon's cap over his clothes; the coveralls were not really made for someone over 6 feet tall... he made jokes about feeling like he was wearing a thong and the pair being split; as I laughed, I realized my bladder was definitely full!
Into the room we go to wait for everyone, and they come in about 9:25. Not a moment too soon, as I think I have a mild case of OHSS, and am starting to feel twinges in my right ovary from all this fluid. Abdominal ultrasound... no wonder I had to drink myself to oblivion! The speculum is put in place and then the ultrasound wand is on my stomach. Yep, really full bladder. They fiddle with viewing the right spot, and then insert the outside catheter, I can see it on the screen, as well as what the doctor refers to as my lush, thick lining. Then they say they are ready for the other one with the embryo inside. They've already given me a picture of the 6-cell grade B embie that I am holding in my hand; I am watching what looks like a grain of rice (the fluid around the embryo) as it passes through the inner catheter. Pretty cool! I had to lay there for ten minutes. Then was able to get up and go to the bathroom! No heavy lifting or exertion for the next two days.
Now the wait. In two weeks I will know if this worked; I pray it does. As I stare at the picture of our potential child, I realize how blessed I am to have seen life at such a level as this. It really makes me realize how much bigger that us it all really is.
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